Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Weird Wally’s Right Wing Money Making Scheme

Weird Wally refused to either confirm or deny that he is working on a secret project, but a close friend and gossip, recently retired from NSA, has hinted that Wally’s Wi-Fi may have been hacked.  “And from the looks of things, he’s definitely up to no good.”  The possibility that Wally might, in fact, be up to no good came as no surprise to members of the Old Farts Symposium (FOS), as they sat for their monthly luncheon at a one star restaurant in downtown Denver.

And since Wally had failed to show, the Symposium wasted little time in voicing their concerns about his recent behavior.   After over an hour of trading information and speculation, their concern for Wally was near panic.  “Shouldn’t we do an intervention,” a former attorney gleefully suggested.

Seems as if Wally has hit upon, what he calls a, “low risk-high income,” get rich quick scheme.   “And Sarah Palin is his inspiration,” someone had said during lunch.   But what had initially gotten everyone’s attention was a google search Wally had done a little over a week ago.  “Hesearched for ‘top right-wing money making schemes’” the retired NSA employee said, while distributing printouts.   “It’s like he’s studying up on building a business model,” NSA concluded.  “Kind of like getting an online MBA.” 

Most of those present agreed that Wally was a decent writer.  But, was he devious enough to actually go through with such a brazen scam?  Now that, was way open to debate.  The gathering noted that the Republican Party is a goldmine for unscrupulous entrepreneurs.  “I know of several people who’ve run for office with no intention of ever being elected.  After losing, they write books, appear on FOX News, give speeches and make a damn good living being has-beens,” a retired political science professor quickly pointed out.

After many minutes of debate, NSA managed to get everyone’s attention again, “I stopped by his place around six this morning…”

“Isn’t that the time he usually goes to AA?” a retired social worker (MSW) chimed in.

“Anyway,” continued NSA, “I thought I heard him scream for help, so I had no choice but to pick the lock and…”

But NSA would not be sidetracked, “He wasn’t home,” NSA continued, “but when I accidently bumped his laptop, I saw a website he’s designing and a bunch of eBooks he’d written and uploaded to Amazon.  Looks like he’s planning to sell them for eight bucks a download.”

“What kind of eBooks?” someone asked.

“Stuff like, ‘Obama’s Secret Journey: Africa to America’ and ‘Research Proves: GMOs Are Good for You.’”  NSA then produced a printout of an email Wally had sent to Monsanto about buying advertising space on his yet to be named website.

By lunch end, the only thing the group could agree on was that Wally was up to something and that NSA should probably keep an eye on him.  Before leaving, they all asked for separate checks and paid with separate credit cards

Later, outside in the parking lot, MSW is rumored to have asked NSA if Wally had gotten his Private Detective License yet.

“Why ask me?” replied NSA.

“Because I can’t imagine Wally ever owning a gun.”

“What does owning a gun have to do with being a private investigator?” NSA asked.

“Whoever heard of a private dick without a gun,” replied MSW.

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