Friday, October 10, 2014

Where’s Wally?

No one has seen him in almost a week and unfounded speculation is running rampant.   The Special Agent in Charge (SAC) of the Denver Field Office is insisting that Wally has run off to a foreign country in order to engage in “some kind of weird version of jihad,” Mr. Ravenelle is rumored to have said.  Detectives assigned to Denver’s police intelligence unit, however, dispute the feds’ assumption.  “Since Wally doesn’t believe in much of anything,” said one Denver detective, “he cannot possibly engage in any kind of jihad.”

Meanwhile, a CIA contract employee in North Kora reports that both Wally and Dennis Rodman are secretly vacationing in North Korea and partying-it-up with Kim Jong-Un. 

Although unable to confirm Wally’s current whereabouts, the CIA Station Chief in South Kora made unofficial note that both Weird Wally and Kim Jong-Un are missing at the same time.   Additionally, the station chief also noted that he has no interest in the current whereabouts of one Dennis Rodman.

Update:  Late Friday afternoon Wally is rumored to have tweeted, “#UniteBlue My Colorado friends, Vote No on 68 and Yes on 105."

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