Monday, May 26, 2014

Secret Interview with a High Level Republican Operative

This Weird Wally (WW) Exclusive happened quite by accident.   The long and short of it is that Wally managed to capture an image of a very conservative and high level Washington insider, exiting a Denver, Colorado, pot shop with a hot young woman on his arm, during the Memorial Day weekend.    Not only did the insider purchase Wally’s cell, he sent his friend off to more shopping and agreed to a chat over lunch.   The insider, who must remain anonymous, shall be known as, Dick.

WW:  Thanks for both lunch and the chat.  I really appreciate it.

Dick:  You have me at a disadvantage, Wally.  But this could be fun.  What do you call yourself, again?  Liberal, is it?

WW:  Progressive, Mr. Dick

Dick:  No need for formalities, Wally.  We’re both equals here.

WW:  Good point, Dick   But more to the point, between you, the American Legislative Exchange Council and the Koch Brothers, there’s a lot of negative shit being thrown about.  And considering the shifting demographics, do you really expect to win elections with that kind of strategy?

Dick:  We only need to win one, and that’s the next one.  It’s no secret that in an off year elections, most liberals don’t vote, you guys think that the presidential ones are the only that count, but us conservatives know better.  We get most of congress, governors and state houses with us, we can kick any president’s ass and nothing anyone can do about it.

WW:  Why do you think my side is working so hard to get minorities, young folks and single women to the polls.  Besides, I got minimum wages and a whole bunch of other issues on my side, Dick.

Dick:  Don’t mean dick, Wally.  I got money on mine and all we need do is appeal to our base. 

WW:  Who do think your base is?

Dick:  Old white guys, for the most part.  And their wives, of course.    The kind of people who like things the way they are, who see Obama as a sign of things to come and are scared shitless by it.  My base doesn’t give a shit about minimum wage or health care.  They’re scared of an unknown future and having lots of guns makes them feel safe.  My rule of thumb is, when people are scared shitless, that’s when they are most likely to come out and vote their shit.

WW:  You’re sounding like a cynic. 

Dick:  Just being real with you, Wally

Anyway, after a longer than planned for lunch, Wally found himself actually liking the guy.  But Wally was also mindful of the fact that he’d never met a sociopath he didn’t like.  Here ends Part I of the secret interview.

To Be Continued.

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