Learn to Think Like a One Percenter

A rising tide lifts all boats, “But,” according to Wally, “if you’re among the very competitive top one percent, the less boats crowding the water, the more enjoyable and expansive your view.

“And fishing will always be fun.”

One percenters have a totally different view of the world than the rest of us.  And while the rising tide theory may make sense to the rest of us, the very wealthy have a different take.  “Not only is more for me better, less for others also works.” 

“I’d laugh in the face of Keynesian Economics,” Wally declared to friends, “and proudly let people know that my boats’ are already afloat and then ask, ‘and I should care about your boat because…?’”   

For toppers, economic inequality is a good thing.   More for them and less for the rest of us means that what they have is worth even more, simply because the rest of us have so much less.   Although things may eventually return to balance, it will be a while before that happens.  Meanwhile, the more inequality there is, the more vulnerable politicians become and more open to immense campaign contributions.  And the more politicians that toppers control, the more the laws, legislation and regulations will go their way.

“These days, were I in the top one percent,” Wally recently told fellow attendees at a Denver Inequality Teach-in, “my job wouldn’t be to create wealth like in the old days.  My job now days would be to snatch as much wealth as I can from people less clever than myself.  And that would mean most everybody else.”

Wally went on to explain to the horrified group how lifting all boats is probably a silly idea to a one percenter.  “Their idea is to keep as many boats as possible stuck in the mud and out of lake,” he said. 

Another attendee, having heard enough of Wally’s craziness, challenged him with, “Good thing you ain’t rich because you’d be a real dick.”

“To be in the top one percent, I’d have to be a sociopath,” Wally shot back.

“Ok.” the other attendee asked calmly, “suppose you actually had to look some of those people you fucked over in the eye.  What would you say to them?”

“Have a nice day and thanks for all the fish.”