Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Does Weird Wally Really Practice Mindfulness Meditation?

Although he’d have been the first to deny it, rumor had it that Weird Wally actually meditates for at least, thirty minutes a day, every day.    When confronted with the irrefutable evidence, however, Wally finally admitted to his secret.  “But a story goes with it,” he said.

The interrogation, at times, seemed to take bizarre twists and turns, but Wally simply said, “I do it because I like it and it makes me feel good!”   Further questions revealed his lack of knowledge as to whether Mindfulness Meditation was addictive.  “I never thought of it as an addiction,” he said.  “But when I first started it only took five minutes a day, now it takes a half hour and longer.  Then there are those times I feel that if I let myself go, I could go for hours.”

At this point, it should be noted that much research has been accomplished regarding this Mindfulness practice and there is evidence that it may have a significant on effect on those who practice this ritual.  In addition to causing actual physical changes in the brain, meditation seems to effect significant changes in human perception and behavior.   There are, however, other researchers and scientists who insist that Mindfulness and any other kind of meditation is a sham.  Like the previous report on Global Climate Change, this investigator is not a scientist and draws no conclusions on the matter.

During the hour’s long interrogation, Wally seemed not to take this process seriously as he showed no visible signs of irritation or frustration.  He was respectful and cooperative but, oddly enough, showed little if any signs of fear, yet he did not perceive himself as fearless.  If anything, Wally seemed to think it all very funny.

“God has little to do with it.  Hell, even an atheist can’t help but feel a part of something bigger,” Wally finally concluded.

When asked if Mindfulness Meditation was addictive, “I can stop anytime I want to,” he answered.

This subject was steadfast in his insistence to continue his Mindfulness practice.  When asked why he would continue meditating, now that he knows it is much like a drug, he answered this investigator’s question with a question.  “Why would I not?” he asked.


Due to the subject’s incorrigible behavior and attitude, it is the recommendation of this investigator that this Hold continues; as he remains a danger to both society and this civilization.     AGS

And remember, Weird Wally Sez:  I do it because I like it and it makes me feel good!
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