This Weird Wally (WW) Exclusive happened quite by
accident. The long and short of it is that
Wally managed to capture an image of a very conservative and high level
Washington insider, exiting a Denver, Colorado, pot shop with a hot young woman
on his arm, during the Memorial Day weekend.
Not only did the insider
purchase Wally’s cell, he sent his friend off to more shopping and agreed to a
chat over lunch. The insider, who must remain anonymous, shall
be known as, Dick.
WW: Thanks for both
lunch and the chat. I really appreciate
it.
Dick: You have me at
a disadvantage, Wally. But this could be
fun. What do you call yourself,
again? Liberal, is it?
WW: Progressive, Mr.
Dick
Dick: No need for
formalities, Wally. We’re both equals
here.
WW: Good point, Dick But more to the point, between you, the
American Legislative Exchange Council and the Koch Brothers, there’s a lot of
negative shit being thrown about. And
considering the shifting demographics, do you really expect to win elections
with that kind of strategy?
Dick: We only need to
win one, and that’s the next one. It’s
no secret that in an off year elections, most liberals don’t vote, you guys think
that the presidential ones are the only that count, but us conservatives know
better. We get most of congress,
governors and state houses with us, we can kick any president’s ass and nothing
anyone can do about it.
WW: Why do you think
my side is working so hard to get minorities, young folks and single women to
the polls. Besides, I got minimum wages
and a whole bunch of other issues on my side, Dick.
Dick: Don’t mean
dick, Wally. I got money on mine and all
we need do is appeal to our base.
WW: Who do think your
base is?
Dick: Old white guys,
for the most part. And their wives, of
course. The kind of people who like
things the way they are, who see Obama as a sign of things to come and are
scared shitless by it. My base doesn’t
give a shit about minimum wage or health care.
They’re scared of an unknown future and having lots of guns makes them
feel safe. My rule of thumb is, when
people are scared shitless, that’s when they are most likely to come out and
vote their shit.
WW: You’re sounding
like a cynic.
Dick: Just being real
with you, Wally
Anyway, after a longer than planned for lunch, Wally found
himself actually liking the guy. But
Wally was also mindful of the fact that he’d never met a sociopath he didn’t
like. Here ends Part I of the secret
interview.
To Be Continued.
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